It has a been a long time since I deployed my blog and wrote my two first posts, it was stated in the second of them my desire of keeping continuous posts throughout the year. As I am writing this text, you may already know that this desire has not come to the light of material world. It is not of my intention to explain why, sometimes you are just not loyal to our goals - to me it happens often. It may be a problem in which I shall dive later.
Naturally, things has changed in a dramatical plot since the last post, even though they were foreseen and at some point part of my plans. I said that I eventually could move to São Paulo in order to start a master degree at the University of São Paulo, and here I am. Although this was a possibility in January, somehow I couldn’t believe that it would really be my next step until I moved away. I must confess that this got me anxious and a little apprehensive, thinking of not being able to take the master and staying in Cuiabá with just my job gave me the overwhelming feeling, and also very personal as this is aligned to my ideals, of nonprogress.
Of course moving was not the only thing to happen to me, It was also an entire turn of tables before that. I got promoted at my internship, I ran as never before - even a half-marathon-, I met new people, I made new friends and reconnected to old ones, I freaked out with my undergraduate thesis, I passed hours and hours inside a data centre, I revisited my favourite places and favorite people the most I could. There is also the things that I did not get to accomplish, those may wait some months, but it is certain that they will be done.
Some episodes perhaps deserve more extensive texts, and they did had this space in my personal writings, my chats and silent reflections. Life is as miserable as it is vibrant, and some changes do not come with the excitement of future or delight of the unknown. My grandmother passed away, it was April 2nd, one day after my birthday. This was not my first death experience, but certainly was my most conscious one. It took me back to when I was yet a child, and would pass most of my days around her. I did loved her, in my inexpressive way, and I will remember her in my ruminant way.
Then, I got graded, I packed and moved. It has been three weeks since I arrived, you may count it as two, cause I passed one of these three weeks in Brasilia. I feel excited and also blessed, it is wonderful that I can study in such a big university and I can experience the biggest metropolis in South America. At the first weekend here I went to see the MASP and Monet, on the following Monday I was having my first class. This is what I have for now. I still fear not being in the right road, and I look, as never before, to find a meaningful life. I miss my family and friends, except for Aline, I forgot to mention she is here with me.
This is, probably, a great summary of last months. The best is yet to come and will seek it.